Not Such A Beautiful Day
by tori-black
Summary: Snape's worst memory, Lily and James, one day no-one will ever forget...


**Not Such A Beautiful Day**

'Five more minutes!' She thought that she should probably read through her paper again. She'd read it through twice, butshould probably read it again. What if she missed a spelling mistake, and the examiners picked up on it? It could ruin her entire Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL. As she hasn't decided what she wants to do with her life yet, she needs to excel in everything, just in case.

She read it through again. It's pretty good, she hopes. Glancing back (She's sitting at the front) she saw the back of Potter's head, he was obviously talking to Black. Idiots. 

'Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins. Please remain seated while I collect you parchment! _Accio__!'__ Professor Flitwick squeaked._

He got knocked off his feet by the parchment, and people could be heard laughing. She frowned, it's not really that funny, he could be hurt. She bets Potter's one of the one's laughing. She quickly got out of my seat and helped him up.

'Thank you…thank you. Very well, everybody, you're free to go.'

'Are you sure you're ok?' She asked.

'Yes, yes, I'm fine, now go and enjoy this beautiful day, go on, go!'

'Come on.' Her friend grabbed Nat grabbed onto her arm, and pulled her towards the exit.

'Hey Nat?'

'Yeah?'

'What'd you think of Question Six?'

'Oh no. No, we're not going to talk about that exam. I've spent the last hour and a half waiting for it to be over, and you're not going to ruin this feeling for me.'

'Nat, this is important. I'm not sure my answer was completely right, maybe I should ask if I could look over it. Do you think they'd let me?'

'Don't be stupid, you did fine, you always do fine, you've been top witch of the year since forever, now shut up, let's go over with Ali and them, they've got their feet in the lake, that'd be so good right now.'

'Five more minutes.' He wrote 'The End' in big fancy letters, did a twirly underline under it, put down his quill, and picked up the paper to read through it quickly. It seems ok. He yawned, just to let everyone know how bored he was, and ran his hand through his hair. He's so bored. Flitwick's not looking, He turns around and a handsome boy leaning on the back two legs of his chair gives him a thumbs up. He grinned, turned back around, and started sketching a snitch. It was kind of crappy; art was never his strong point. HE looked up, and searched around at the back of people's heads, till he found her. Red hair, perfectly tied back with not a strand of hair out of place. He knew if she was to turn around, there'd be a scattering of freckles on her nose, looking so perfect that it was as if someone had painted them on. Perfect green eyes and her uniform would be spotless. She was so perfect, and so wrong for him, in every way, but he needed her. The one he'd dream about every night, only to walk up with a wet patch in his sheets.

Even her name was so pretty. Lily. He drew her initials on a piece of scrap paper.

'Quiet down, please!' Professor Flitwick squeaked. 'That means you too, Stebbins.' Idiot. 'Please remain seated while I collect you parchment! _Accio__!'_

The parchment knocked Professor Flitwick over, and he laughed, then hastily crossed out the L.E. She got up to help him. Of course she did. She would.

'Thank you…thank you. Very well, everybody, you're free to go.'

Shoving the exam paper and his quill into his bag, the boy jumped up, and waited for his friends.

As he entered the Entrance Hall, one of his friends, the handsome one, said 'Did you like question ten, Moony?'

'Loved it.' "Moony" replied. '_Give five signs that identify the werewolf._ Excellent question.'

'Do you think you managed to get all the signs?' He asked his friend in mock concern.

'Think I did.' Moony said. 'One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin.'

She unlaced her black, polished school shoes, took them off, and placed them next to her. She took off her socks too, made sure they weren't inside out, and tucked them inside the shoes.

And dipped her feet in the lake.

The cool water was a shock, but so nice on this hot day. One of the girls made a comment, and she, along with the rest of the girls, laughed.

He flopped down on an exceptionally comfy bit of grass under a beech tree, and continued to play with the snitch, making difficult catches just to get attention. Maybe, she would hear Peter praising him, maybe she would look over. Maybe –

'Put that away, will you, before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.

He grinned, and shoved the snitch back in his pocket. 'If it bothers you.' It's obvious there are very few people who can make him do what they want.

'I'm bored. Wish it was full moon.'

'You might.' Moony said. 'We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…'

He rolled his eyes. Why bother studying. He tried that already, it didn't make her notice him. Another grin broke across his face. 'This'll liven you up, Padfoot.' he said quietly. 'Look who it is.'

She looked up, and saw Potter cursing Snape, pink bubbles appearing. She got up, started hurrying over, Snape was choking now, why did he always do this to her?

'Leave him ALONE!'

Black and Potter turned around. Oh no, don't. Please don't. But he didn't seem to get her telepathic messages, His hand went up to his hair.

'All right, Evans? His voice deepened, it was deeper now, more mature.

'Leave him alone.' she repeated. She hated him. Everything about him, his hair, his eyes, his nose. Every aspect of his personality, every habit, every word that came out of his mouth was tainted. 'What's he done to you?'

'Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean.' She restrained the urge to jump forward and strangle him. There was laughter. Idiots, do they have any idea what it'd be like to be Snape right now? She pretended she didn't hear this. She was above him.

'You think you're funny,' She gave each word an icy edge. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone.'_ How many times did she have to repeat those three words?

Toerag? From anyone else, being called a toerag would be pathetic and hilarious, but from her it wasn't. From her it cut into him like a knife. 'I will if you go out with me Evans.' The words spilled from his mouth before he could think them through, all he knew was he had to have her, any way he could. 'Go on, go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.'

Say yes, oh god, say yes. He needed her, couldn't she see? Say yes, just say it, one word…

'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.'

No, no, don't say that, no…

'Bad luck, Prongs. OI!'

It hit him on the side of the cheek, there was a flash of light, and Snape was upside down. 

He laughed, couldn't help it, it was pathetic.

'Let him down!'

'Certainly.' He jerked his wand, and Snape fell.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE' She shouted, and pointed her wand at Potter and Black.

'Ah, Evans, don't make me curse you.' He looked earnest. He's not. He doesn't care.

'Take the curse off him, then!' God, she was bargaining with Potter. Why?

He sighed. He's going to do it. Finally.

'There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-'

'I don't meed help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'

She blinked. Snape wasn't going to get to her. 'Fine. I won't bother in future. An I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus__.' Insult Snape back, why not?_

'Apologise to Evans!' 

'I don't want _you_ to make him apologise. You're as bad as he is!' No,  he's worse.

'What? I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!'

He'd do worse without hesitating. And he did. He wanted to annoy what she hated about him. Fine.

'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

She turned and walked away.

'Evans!' He was calling her now. 'Hey, EVANS!' she didn't look back.

'What is it with her?' He was trying to show she didn't bother him.

'Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate.'

A bit conceited? A BIT CONCEITED? Didn't she know what he did for her? Every fucking day, and she wasn't even grateful, he felt the anger rise up inside of hi. 'Right, right-' He waved his wand. 'Who wants to see me take of Snivelly's pants?'

You make me sick. He voice echoed in his head. YOU MAKE ME SICK. SICK. SICK. SICK. It was chanting now. He lowered his wand, turned, and ran. He had to find her.

She was walking along the corridor, a satisfied smile on her face, when he appeared in front of her. He was leaning against the wall, looking perfectly composed, looking at her.

'Do I really?'

What? Does he really what?

'Make you sick.' He moved towards her, walking slowly. 'Do I?'

She gave an exasperated sigh. 'Yes, I told you.'

'I'm sorry. I don't want to.'

'Well, you do, ok?' She added a sarcastic note to it, and walked past him. 

'I love you.'

She turned around.

'Sorry?'

'I love you.'

'Get straight to the point, don't you?'

'And, I'm sorry. I think about you all the time, and when you come near me I have to show off, I need you to notice me, I need you to love me.'

Is he for real? He looks it. What's going on? 'Potter…'

'I'm not bullshitting with you, I mean it. I love you. Look at me. I love you.'

She's seen him lie, too many times to count.

He was right in front of her now. He couldn't be faking this. 'I love you.' He looked so different, and vulnerable, and…like he had no idea what he was doing. 'Say you love me Lily, please, god, say you love me.'

He looked so desperate, she knew he needed this. But… 'I don't.' She whispered. 'I can't.'

'Never?' His voice cracked, this was his last hope.

'I'm sorry.' His world crashed down around him, she knew and all she could do was watch it, she couldn't love him, she knew she couldn't, ever.'

He closed his eyes, wishing this was a dream, but it's not, he knows it's not.

'I'm sorry.' she repeated again. 'I'm so sorry. I-I'll just go.'

'No.' He said. 'No, wait.' He opened his eyes. 'If…if you can never…could I…um…could I kiss you?'

Just once, Lily, please just once, he needed her, just one kiss, can't she see? Please, god, please.

'Alright.'

He hardly dared to raise his hopes. 'Alright.' she repeated again. 'Once. Just because…I feel so bad now.'

'A-and,' He didn't want to push his luck, but he needed to ask. 'Could you maybe kiss me back too? I want you to…I need it…'

'Yeah, ok. But, you have to understand, this is it, I don't love you, I don't like you, I'm sorry…'

'I know.' he said. "I'll leave you alone. I promise.'

She breathed in deeply, and closed her eyes. Somehow the guilt he made her feel was overwhelming. She'd never kissed anyone before, studies came before boys. Even if she was attracted to Potter, they could never have anything, she needed to pass, needed to be brilliant. Besides, she didn't believe in love, there was no logical explanation for it. Her mind was racing now, he was going to kiss her in a second.

And he did. 

His lips touched her, moving slightly against them. They were dry, but it wasn't that bad, they we're getting wetter now, softer, kissing her mouth, he'd wrapped his arms around her waist now. She was supposed to put her hands around his neck, right? She hesitantly moved one arm up to his shoulder, trying to kiss him back, hoping she was doing something remotely right. She placed her hand on his shoulder, it was thin, like the rest of him, but strong. He must have muscles from Quidditch or something. She moved her other arm back, and wrapped them around his neck. Was it getting really hot in here? Actually, this wasn't that bad, if she tried to forget it was Potter. Maybe it was just kissing in general which was really good. Oh gods, he had his tongue in her mouth now. What is she supposed to do?

Before anyone could answer, she felt something cold and wet in her hair. She shrieked, breaking off the kiss, and put a hand up to hair, and found yellow paint.

She looked at him, one of his hands wasn't around her waist anymore, it was held up and covered in yellow paint. She wrenched herself free of his grasp.

'You asshole!' she slapped him, and ran away.

He slid her tongue in her mouth, not even thinking if it was going to far, he couldn't think, he was drowning, this is better then he ever imagined…what the fuck? Lily shrieked and backed off, and he saw Peeves splatter yellow paint on his hand. What the…Oh god. Oh, god no. She was looking at the paint on his hand and connecting it with the paint in her hair which Peeves had obviously put there. She screamed something at him, he couldn't here what, his world was too busy collapsing, she ran off. No, no, this isn't happening, no, she'll never speak to him again…

God she hated him.

God he loved her.

*************

random one shot…I don't own anything…most of it was taken from Ootp anyways…

luv yous all…

tori


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